The Addiction
Odgut
c2kheubb@ccaa.edu
technology, computer, life, real life, nerds, no life

I'd like to start this article off by shouting out to all of 
you who know exactly what I am talking about in this article.  
Expecially BinaryZer0.  And if you don't understand now.  
You will by the end of this article.


Lets start off with the olden days of computer.  I have 
been around computers all my life starting with the incredibly 
old Sticky Bears ABC and the Apple IIe and the PC's.  Sticky 
Bears was the best childrens program for PC's back around '83 
or so.  Old School.  From then on it was never the same again.  


I would spend hours pressing the space bar in amazment at the 
little scrolling ball (B for ball).  No one could have seen 
the patteren set in so early then.  But now they know better.  
Sticky Bears was just the beginning of late nights and constant  
staring. So maybe it didn't totally start there but it sure was a
point to mark. 


Man, was I excited to finally get my own computer.  No longer would 
I have to Borrow one from my parents school then format and take 
it back at the end of the summer.  I could actually be on DURING 
the school year.  If only my parents would have known.  This is 
definatly where if began.  At first is was just a little past 10:00.  


And of course that wasn't bad.  I was still able to get up at six.  
No problem.  But then 10 turned into 11.  And 11 turned into 2 in the 
morning.  Thats when it hit.  The untimate relization that I was sucked 
in.  I was turning into a computer nerd and I couldn't stop.  No matter
what, the computer would call me late at night.  Chat Rooms.  Maverva's Hideout.  
Silicon Toad.  Even *cough* AOL.  


Now don't laugh cause everyone went thought that period.  And thank god mine 
only lasted a summer.  But no matter what is was, it was exciting and new and 
undescovered territory for me.  The vast unknown of the internet.  I would 
make levels for Duke 3D, write Basic code, didn't matter what.  It just had 
to involve the internet.  But I couldn't contain it to just the nights.  


My spiratic behavior spilled over into my day life too.  Classes would wiz 
by as I would think of ways to do this or that.  Or even comtemplate why that 
guy pissed me off in the chat room last night.  Again, it didn't matter.  My 
life was computers and I didn't even notice or even care to notice.  But like 
all things, it came an end.  


With the crashing halt of my report card hitting the table with a 2.3 gpa.  
Now I don't know what you are like or what your grades are but I went from a 
3.4  ro a 2.3 in one semester.  It was definatly not good.


Well, as you can imagine my parents blamed the root of the cause on 
my computer.  I was insistant that my computer was not at fault.  It 
was the teachers I would say.  They just don't like me.  But my 
dad being a computer addict himself knew better.  He still insists 
that he only uses the computer for work.  Bah!  But even so the 
computer had to go.  So they took the keyboard.  Almost the heart of 
the computer for me.  The tool that I used to talk to people all over 
the world had been cut off in matter of seconds.  I was quite pissed.  


So what the hell.  I threw a fit of rage.  Screamed.  Yelled. 
Kicked. Stompped.  What do you expect though.  I was addicited 
and they just cut me off.  I had the classic signs of withdrawl.  
Also I decided that if I couldn't use the computer then no one can.  
So i went in and unplugged the power cord to the hard drive.  Only it 
slipped suddenly and I sliced a chunk out of my thumb below the nail. 
On the knuckle part.  It bled like mad.  


At that moment I began to realized how addicted I really was.  I was 
going bezerk over a piece of hardware.  Sounds silly doesn't it?  
And now that I look at it I was really in a sad state.  


But I found ways to satify my addiciton.  Like a smoker sneaking 
a smoke,  I found ways to plug in and once again hear the hum of 
the CPU fan.  I would say, "Oh...I have to research stuff for 
school.  Can I get my keyboard back?".  That one always worked.  


Who were they to deny research for a school project.  They wanted 
my grades up didn't they?  I  pulled my gpa up to a 2.6.  
"Look..i'm proving!".   They would soon find out.  "I'm gonna take 
a while researching...just leave the keyboard up here....Yes..I'll 
go to bed at 10..promise".  Of course I wouldn't.  So I stay up.  
Looking at porn.  Getting usless "hacking programs" that do nothing 
at all.  


You know, the Stuff people on AOL do.   So began another vicious 
circle of self destruction.  Then came The MUD.  The text based 
telnet game that I played for about half a year.  The fun part of 
this was I had friends at school that played this.  These friends 
did all that I did.  Drugs, Computer, Stupid shit.  It was cool.  
So instead of doing this on my own I had friends to talk to.  We 
would talk for hours, on and off the mud about this piece of 
equipment or this item.  


My grades again dropped and action was taken.  
The computer came out the room.  I was PISSED!  Livid.  
Angry.  They were REALLY cutting me off.  All the west coast people 
I knew were lost.  I couldn't stay up and talk to them when they were 
on.  All I could have was 1 hour a night.      


What the hell good did an hour do.  Might as well have been nothing at all.
 

And this went on all though out the school year.  My grades were so 
inconsistant that people could have thought that I was having other people 
do most of my homework.  Even though that was not the case.  Then the 
summer came.  I got a car.  I got a life.  I became free.  At first it was 
just for a little bit.   A half a day away from the computer.  I would live. 


Then it was longer.  And longer.  Then I got a job and had no time.  
And then I realized that I didn't even need to use the computer anymore.  
My legs got stronger as I began to run more and be more active period.  


My neck aches were gone.  I was at last free.  Even if i'm writting this 
at 1 in the morning.  


Moral of the story?  None that I can think of......